When I was trapped in worry about the results of a medical test, and suffering, and blaming myself for not being so spiritually healed that I was beyond worry, a friend gave me some advice that actually worked!
She said I had every right to be feeling anxious and that I should stop beating myself up (for failing, which, for me, is not over-achieving, at recovery) because everyone gets better in different ways and you don't know what that way is for you, so stay open and present and wait for it to show up. While waiting, it's a good idea to do the next right thing and try to avoid addictive escapes.
In summary, she said, "Suffer with optimism." This, somehow, was advice I could get behind. I got off the phone and went forward with whatever I had to do, and somehow forgot to worry. It worked. I share this in case it helps someone else.
Thanks for writing this. I took it as an instruction for the new year, to keep putting one foot in front of the other and be kind to all, including oneself. Having the best dog in the world is not to be sneezed at. All the best going forward.
Cari, you clearly have the words. And I understand not having *the right* words, or *words good enough for you,* but if you think what you’ve got is anything other than damned good, you’re being disingenuous. || Another friend sent me her writing about that young man. He does sound worthwhile to have known. And I’m so sorry. || You should roll on over and talk about Henry James. Just finished The Wings of the Dove. Or worse, Plotinus or Gibbon. It’s all-day every-day old school at my house. 🏡
When I was trapped in worry about the results of a medical test, and suffering, and blaming myself for not being so spiritually healed that I was beyond worry, a friend gave me some advice that actually worked!
She said I had every right to be feeling anxious and that I should stop beating myself up (for failing, which, for me, is not over-achieving, at recovery) because everyone gets better in different ways and you don't know what that way is for you, so stay open and present and wait for it to show up. While waiting, it's a good idea to do the next right thing and try to avoid addictive escapes.
In summary, she said, "Suffer with optimism." This, somehow, was advice I could get behind. I got off the phone and went forward with whatever I had to do, and somehow forgot to worry. It worked. I share this in case it helps someone else.
That’s great advice, thank you!
Thanks for writing this. I took it as an instruction for the new year, to keep putting one foot in front of the other and be kind to all, including oneself. Having the best dog in the world is not to be sneezed at. All the best going forward.
Cari, you clearly have the words. And I understand not having *the right* words, or *words good enough for you,* but if you think what you’ve got is anything other than damned good, you’re being disingenuous. || Another friend sent me her writing about that young man. He does sound worthwhile to have known. And I’m so sorry. || You should roll on over and talk about Henry James. Just finished The Wings of the Dove. Or worse, Plotinus or Gibbon. It’s all-day every-day old school at my house. 🏡
Always a treat when I see the Dog and Pony Show show up in my inbox. I saved this for a few days so I could read it at leisure, it was worth savoring.
Thank you so much! More newsletters landing in the next couple of weeks, as I catch up on my backlog!
I do that, too! xo
ILU