Paid Subscriber FAQ
Thinking about signing up? Here are some answers to your probable questions.
First of all, if you’ve already subscribed, you’re the best and I love you all. If you haven’t yet subscribed, I’ve attempted to compile a list of questions you might have about how this will work, why I think you should subscribe, and other logistical aspects. I’ve tried to be comprehensive (and funny), but I’m sure as soon as I send this email, I’ll remember something else I should have said. In any case, I am extremely easy to get in touch with — don’t hesitate to reach out for any reason.
Questions About the Project
I didn’t read that last email. What’s this whole thing about? For the next year, should you subscribe, I will send one recommendation for a book, podcast, product, etc. mid-month, and one lengthy essay at the end of the month. That’s it, two emails a month, for $5/month or $50/year.
What types of essays and recommendations? Essays like this one about partying and recommendations like these, except just one instead of many.
Why are you doing this? As I mentioned in my last post, being the same age as my father when he died is kinda hard and weird. Apparently, this is normal for people to experience this if a parent died young. (Or maybe everyone experiences this? But I would imagine it’s somewhat different to be facing 80 and contemplating mortality knowing your father also died at 80.) So I’m writing about it, along with many other things.
Why should I subscribe? You should subscribe if:
You like my writing and want to read more of it.
You believe in financially supporting writers for their work.
You like reading essays.
You like getting recommendations for interesting things.
So are you done with reporting? No more writing about politics ever? I am absolutely not done with reporting and continue researching some very long-term projects. I would love to have a full-time reporting job again, but such jobs barely exist these days (at least at a salary that pays a living wage for someone not in their 20s, without a trust fund, and without a second salary in the household). That said, I’m not sure if I can write about politics sober, but who knows.
Will this be just like your mid-aughts blog and/or Times Free Press dating column? No! These will actually be revised, edited essays, not diary-esque rambles about my day-to-day life.
Questions About Giving Me Money
You’ve said you were going to do regular posting before and you didn’t. Why should I believe you now and actually give you my money? It’s a fact: I was not very reliable when I was drinking. That’s also why I have never turned on paid subscriptions — because I knew I couldn’t give people what they were paying for. However, I’m no longer drinking and on the verge of becoming reliable. (Like, y’all, I am barely late for things anymore!) Several of these essays are also already half-written, so I’m not starting from scratch trying to come up with topics.
Why are you finally charging money now? Look, writing is hard work. If you value my writing, then pay for it.
I do value your writing, but I’m really broke right now. That’s ok! I’ve been there. We all have budgets. If you’re experiencing significant financial hardship and would otherwise subscribe, email me about it.
What happens if I pony up and no one else does? Will you keep writing? That’s a great question! If only a small handful of people are paying, I might decide to hit pause. Writing for an audience of 20 seems kinda self-indulgent and not cost-effective. However, if that happens and you’ve paid for the full year, you’ll get a prorated refund. And if you don’t want that to happen, please tell your friends about this and talk them into signing up!
Questions About Payment Options
Substack has a lot of Nazis and I don’t want to give them money. I feel you! I may try to migrate off this platform when I have more time and energy, but I don’t have that time or energy at this moment. However, you can Venmo (@cgervin) / CashApp ($cgervin) me $50 instead and I’ll sign you up. (I do not have the organizational skills to keep up with monthly Venmo subscriptions, sorry. And if you want to use PayPal/Apple Pay/another service, message me.)
Ven-what? Can’t I just send you a check? Absolutely! Just message me and I’ll share my mailing address.
I sent you some money on Venmo back when you were writing frequently — can I get a free subscription now? Possibly, depending on how much you gave me. Email me and let me know the details and we’ll talk.
$5 a month seems like a lot. It’s really not, especially given that 15% of that goes to Substack and Stripe for processing fees.
$5 a month seems way too cheap! I want to give you more money! Thank you! You’re the best! You should sign up as Founding Member for $150 (or just Venmo me extra money).
I also have a paid newsletter. Can we trade subscriptions? Possibly? Email me.
Can I trade another service or good for a subscription? Depends on what it is. Ask me, and I’ll let you know.
Questions About Everything Else
Will everything you write be paywalled? Honestly, I don’t know. As a writer, I want everyone to read everything I write. But as a person with a lot of medical debt, shitty insurance, and several very expensive medications, I have to encourage subscriptions on a practical level.
Medical debt? Are you dying? Insofar as all of us are constantly dying simply by existing each day, then yes. Am I sick? No. But catching up on several years of postponed medical care is expensive.
What if I subscribe and I don’t like your writing? Substack makes it pretty easy to unsubscribe.
I’m your BFF/family member. Do I really need to pay? If I love you and you know it, just text me.
Ok, I’m sold! How do I give you money? Hit this button right here!
You didn’t answer my question, and I’m still on the fence. Please email me and I will try to answer.
Eh, I still don’t know. I need more time to think about this. That’s ok! The first recommendation essay will go out in a few days, and I will send it to all subscribers. Everyone will also get my essay on April 30, so you can see what you’ll be missing after the paywall is turned on.
Will there be dog pictures? Maybe! Here’s one to convince you it’s worth it.
Ok, that’s it. I will be back in a few days with a recommendation for one spectacular thing. Please subscribe if you can, and please message me if you still have questions.